I don’t know if you have ever had a day like I’ve had today. I knew it would be busy. I knew it would be messy. I knew I would be spending a lot of time in the car. I knew I would be tired at the end of the day. I just didn’t realise that things would escalate and pile on top of one another. I didn’t take into consideration how totally exhausted I would feel at the end of the day (& we have only just finished dinner!!).
Sometimes I get bogged down in the nitty gritty’s of life. Sometimes I get frustrated with the here and now. Sometimes I just need to take a step back and take a look at the BIG picture.
What about you? Where are you at the moment in relation to your parenting (or even your career, health etc)? What ‘season’ are you in?
My life is hectic at the moment running kids here and there. This week has been extra busy as we had doctor’s appointments in the city (1 hour drive away) meaning that we were driving home in peak hour, trying to still get home in time for the tap dance lessons (which didn’t happen by the way!). Trying to fit in five separate swimming lessons per week for the kids is another feat in itself, with them having to go to different centres. Together with the admin for my husband’s business and new ventures, and all of life’s other activities (read just found out today that I need 5 visits to the dentist ¾ hour drive away in the next 6 weeks for root canals etc), there is not much time for me.
It is easy to feel sorry for myself. Then, when I see a certain child’s bedroom floor littered with Lego structures in various stages of being built, it is easy to get frustrated. When it feels like not much schoolwork is being achieved because this week is full of medical and dental appointments and the kids are too busy hiving off playing with Lego and they have not yet done the dishes from lunch, my frustration, and guilt (about lack of ‘formal’ schooling), builds.
Then I hear Matey (8) say to Princess (10), “That was the best day I have had for ages. Thank you so much for playing with me. Thank you for building the boy’s bedroom with me out of Lego. That was the best time. You are the best sister in the whole wide world.”
That is when I suddenly take a breath, nearly crying with amazement at what constitutes the best day for my son and say to myself, “look at the BIG picture.” Messy bedrooms, dirty dishes can wait. Relationships can’t. (I also was struck yet again how spending time with Matey is one of his love languages. He felt Princess loved him because she spent the afternoon with him doing what he wanted to do.)
What is my BIG picture for my life and for my children’s? Am I sowing into small steps towards reaching that or am I getting waylaid by the ‘here and now’ daily activities of living?
Will what I am concerned about today really matter in six months, twelve months or twelve years? Is what I am concerned about today really worth the emotional effort I am putting into getting it sorted out? What is my biggest worry / fear / concern / thing taking all my emotional energy at the moment? Will this really matter in one year or ten years time?
What example am I setting for my kids? What am I teaching them?
Where are you in relation to all of this in your own life? How are you handling life’s stressors at the moment?